I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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