I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
