Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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