sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
