when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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