Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize