No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
