I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
