Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
