and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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