I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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