i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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