can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
