porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
