Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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