yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
