It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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