great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
