Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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