I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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