I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
