In the future we'll all be gay
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's always time for handjobs
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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