Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize