Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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