Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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