Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
