I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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