margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize