Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
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Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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