while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
areolas are like halos for boobs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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