oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
