Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
