I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
