the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize