id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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