I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
