It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
