I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
