Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im holly from the hills drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
