Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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