i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
