i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
