I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
