Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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