Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I look better un-naked...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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