How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
