sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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