So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
