Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
