ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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