I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
