i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You dont lie about slip and slides
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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