Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
