Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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