if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
