I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
