Cold hands, warm shart.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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