Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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