you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
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Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.