can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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