We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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