i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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